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Halloween always presents a problem to people who only like ghosts that egg them on into convulsing about on the floor of public buildings, gurgling saliva and screeching nonsense. But, let's face it, being Pentecostal is not everyone's cup of tea. All that unseemly "look at me! look at me!" rolling about can ruin the crease in any quality fabric (although the Lord has kindly seen fit to spare them this particular concern). But for folks who like their Ghosts Holy, Halloween is a night of danger, a holiday when Satan lures Real American (TM) children into the gateway drug of homosexuality (wearing costumes), which can lead to even more dangerous gay addictions -- musical theater and, yes, even Broadway! Each year, pint-size sugar-junkies are faced with a tricky dilemma: How do you stock up on free, bite-size Three Musketeers bars without waking up the next morning with a skip in your walk, a cheap costume pulled up over your head and the bloody remains of a Wicca pet sacrifice in your mouth? more |
Halloween alternatives booming
On Halloween night, you may find more pint-sized princesses and super heroes bouncing in inflatable toys and collecting candy in church parking lots than roaming your neighborhood streets for sweets.
Trunk or treats, harvest festivals and Halloween alternatives abound in Bakersfield. Most of the events are free with food and drink available to buy. From secular to religious events, organizers said their bashes attract hundreds or even thousands of people and are steadily growing.
"We just had tons of people last year. I didn't even recognize half of them," said Monica Espejo, children's ministry director at The Oaks Community Church. She estimated nearly 1,000 people turned out last year and she is expecting more will show up Monday.
The phenomenon isn't unique to Bakersfield. Tony Kummer, founder of the website Ministry-To-Children.com, said his post about trunk or treat has garnered 30,000 unique visits this month and 90,000 visits since it was posted two years ago.
Besides a trend toward safer trick-or-treating, the popularity of church events also shows a shift in some Christians' attitude toward Halloween. Kummer said that in the past, fundamentalist Christianity approached Halloween as a satanic holiday when "good Christians lock themselves in the basement and pray," but today churches large and small are coming to terms with Halloween as part of the culture.
"You have a range of purposes in what churches are doing but in general the idea is you don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater," Kummer said. "Even if it's not an attempt to proselytize, those churches feel like by providing a positive (event) they are saying to the community, 'We care about children.'"
Kummer said churches may be warming up to Halloween-themed gatherings because costuming is trending away from witchcraft-inspired get-ups to Hollywood characters.
"I think that's made it easier to say this is probably not about witchcraft, it's about kids having fun," Kummer said.
In Bakersfield, church festival planners vary in their views of the purpose of their events. Some said their festivities provide an alternative to what they see as the evil connotations of Halloween, while others said they just want their members and neighbors to come together for a night of fun.
"If we didn't want to have any connotation with Halloween then we wouldn't have it on that day," said Carol Scheevel, director of children's ministries at First Presbyterian Church in Bakersfield. "We recognize that kids love to dress up and love to get candy...It's a reality of childhood."
At The Oaks Community Church, Espejo said the ministry's fest is biblically themed, with religious dramas and a faith walk children and their parents can explore.
"We really want to shine Jesus' light on this dark night," Espejo said. "In the worldly way (Halloween is) all about the goblins. We want to be a light to our community."
The festival feats are cobbled together with candy collected by volunteers and car trunks decorated by church members. Rille Pinault, communications director for Laurelglen Bible Church, said her congregation is preparing for 3,000 attendees at their Ashe Bash with 500 bales of hay to construct a maze and a "man cave" where dads can watch Monday night football.
"Every year it gets a little bit bigger," Pinault said. "Most of our members come and help because everything is put on by volunteers."
The church celebrations also keep businesses busy. When Cheryl Ruiz opened Kiddie Amusements Inc. in 1996, one or two churches rented party gear from her for their fall fests. This year she's supplying inflatable bounce houses and carnival games to about 10 churches, including ministries in Delano, Shafter and Taft.
"A lot of the people from Bakersfield do go to these events," Ruiz said by phone Thursday. "We've been busy for the last several weeks getting ready."
The planners behind the plethora of harvest fests said their events provide a safe alternative to letting children loose on the streets of Bakersfield. Kern County Supervisor Mike Maggard was inspired to start a Halloween gathering in Oildale after witnessing his son's Washington church provide trunk or treating in a poor Tacoma neighborhood. He said people are gravitating toward "more controlled environments" rather than letting their kids trick-or-treat.
The event held Saturday gets a boost from volunteers from Maggard's church, Valley Bible Fellowship, and local law enforcement agencies.
"It's a safe way for children in Oildale to be able to celebrate Halloween. There's no issue of dealing with stray dogs or dark streets," Maggard said. "It is a wholesome environment for them." SOURCE:

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"I think that if Rev. Williamson had shown the costume to someone, perhaps his wife, before he decided to sneak up on the kiddies, he would have thought twice," said Pastor. "Perhaps he would have taken that hideous ghoul costume and pitched the abhorrent abomination into a trash incinerator. I believe his wife would have fainted had she seen it and it would have saved dozens of families both bawling and Braille," he continued. "I get shivers down my spine and break into a cold sweat when I even think about that fiendish vampire costume! It is absolutely the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in all my years on this earth, and to put that thing on, run into a room full of children and scream, 

In last Sunday's sermon, Pastor Deacon Fred recalled a conversation he had with an unsaved cashier at a Safeway in Des Moines. "This feller was just yapping to himself, and mumbling," said Pastor. "So I asked him, who are you talking to? To which he replied, 'My 2,000 year old invisible flying friend.' I told him, as an adult, he really needed to let go of such childish things. Part of being an adult is living in the real world and not clinging to made-up stories and imaginary friends, no matter how comforting. Then, he happened to mention that his friend was called "Jesus." I told him, "Well, why didn't you say so? That's different kettle of fish entirely, my friend!"
















Freehold, Iowa - Church Authorities instinctively grabbed their shotguns and hopped into their SUV's earlier this week when they received word that Benjamin Calomiris had escaped from the Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed. Pastor Deacon Fred tried to calm the Board of Deacons by reminding them that the Home for the Demonically Possessed in Buckford, North Dakota is over 900 miles from Freehold, Iowa. "It is a great distance, and much has changed in the last forty-five years," he told the Deacons. "Not only that, but dozens of demons and countless years of electro-testicular shock therapy have made Benjamin about as dumb as a rock. He can't go two minutes without having to stop and go to the bathroom," said Pastor. "So my guess is, he won't get too far on foot." Pastor's remarks were not enough to deter the Board of Deacons from assembling 200 church members and three Baptist police officers into an emergency
Pastor Deacon Fred hopes to have more details regarding the exact nature of Benjamin's escape from The Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed later this week. "Dr. Edwards is going to 






