God Has Zero Tolerance for Wicca!

God Has Zero Tolerance for Wicca!

Ban WICCANS From Your Community NOW! Before They Take Your Children!

The Freehold, Iowa Town Hall voted unanimously this week to enact a zero-tolerance Bible-based ban on Wicca. "Like the hyena and the dog, the Wiccan will mark its territory by urinating or squatting down its MORBIDLY OBESE RUMP and defecating onto the sacred cold ground of any church cemetery near a Burger King™," Pastor Deacon Fred told members of town council. "I tell you this!" he further stated, "You'll know when you stumble upon gooey pile of stinky Wicca dung! There is not enough turpentine in this county to wash their godless poop from the soles of our expensive shoes! It's time we take a stand against these animals, and rid our community of their abhorrent presence once and for all!"

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The Landover Center for Occult Research is assisting members of our local Christian community by posting a list of activities associated with Wicca. "If you see anyone engaging in these activities, you have Jesus' permission to fire a warning round of buckshot into the hiney of the nearest gelatinous glob of cellulite sacrilege you see! (but don't aim for Sister Hardwick! She's on God's team!)," Demon Hunter, Pastor Mitch Walker told a crowd of concerned citizens with torches gathered together in the church cemetery for prayer last Tuesday before a fun filled night of Wiccan hunting. SOURCE:

WICCANS ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE FOR DECENT CHRISTIANS!

WICCANS ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE FOR DECENT CHRISTIANS!

"Godly tips and advice on how to rid your decent Christian community of meddlesome Wiccans!"

Arlington: St. John the Apostle Pumpkin Patch

Angela Patterson

What: Pumpkins with a mission. This year St. John the Apostle United Methodist Church will be celebrating it's 13th annual Pumpkin Patch. The proceeds from this patch are used to support our youth summer mission trips.

When: October 2-31, 2011 from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Where: 5450 Mansfield Rd, Arlington, TX 76017.

Trunk or Treat

Monday, October 31

6:00 – 7:30 pm

Church Parking Lot

A safe & fun alternative to Trick-Or-Treat

Meet us in the SJA parking lot for fellowship, decorating cars, and treat!

Saint John the Apostle Church of Perpetual Motion