Sunday, September 25, 2011

Apostolic Hellhouse



During the month of October, when Catholics are preparing to celebrate Satan's Birthday on October 31st, the
21st Century Apostolic Church® will be running our 77th annual Hell House. This year, folks are expected to arrive from all 50 states. They will wait for hours in line to visit 12 horrific rooms in a Haunted Cathedral that once served as a demonic house of worship for Catholics in the latter part of this century. Below is the offical floor plan for 21st Century Apostolic's Hell House. It is completely interactive. Click on a demon red room number and a description will pop up like a skeleton!






The Church of Mary Queen of the Universe and Blessed


The Church of Mary Queen of the Universe and Blessed Domineering Mother of God Cathedral was purchased by The Landover Baptist Church in 1901. It is declared to be haunted by pedophile priests and aborted fetuses of long dead nuns who walked the unholy grounds for a hundred years. This is the first time our church has used the abandoned cathedral for our annual Hell House. It seemed the best choice. What more frightening place could there be than a Catholic Church? Godly Christian youths made the exterior of the Hell House look more authentic by spray painting "False Idol" on all the statues of saints. We have pried open the esophagi of the dead Catholic monks buried in the basement just to give the kiddies a jolt by seeing one of them dead Catholics. The entrance fee this year is $75.00 per unsaved person with a money back guarantee if you don't come out with your pants wet and a born-again experience.

No comments:

Post a Comment